About Me

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Kathmandu, Nepal
At 24, she claims herself to be just an ordinary someone who is trying to find her place in this world, in search for her true calling. And along the way, as her life happens with people and situations coming and leaving, she pens down some of her thoughts & emotions here...

Friday, June 14, 2013

Why i chose to say goodbye ...

Leaving is never easy. Whether it's moving away from home, from a relationship or from a job, there are feelings and memories involved. And where such happens, it is always difficult for the human soul. Emotions filled me as i told my listeners a couple of hours ago that it was the last episode of my show, Stupid Cupid. 

It's been exactly a year now since i started this love show on Radio Kantipur. Never had i the slightest thought that it would come this far, and this good too. People loved my show! I had fans writing in to me every now and then about how much they enjoy listening to my voice, my style of presenting, my chosen topics, the songs i played and the show as a whole. I was fairly recognized despite doing only one show. Not trying to be boastful here, but who doesn't love getting all that attention? Especially from people I didn't even knew existed! ;)


But as they say that all good things must come to an end, my journey with Radio Kantipur ends here for real. And this time around, it was my own decision, not theirs.The only reason why i returned back the second time was my unquenched thirst for radio. I still wanted to do more. I was still driven by the amazing fact that i could enter the studio, put on the headphones, talk in front of the microphone and get connected with thousands of lives at once. I had dreams of going a long way and making it big in this self-chosen career.


Turns out, life doesn't always go the way we plan it to. I don't know what went wrong but I wasn't happy there. My interest and continuous requests to do a couple more shows went ignored all the time. I constantly felt left out from situations big and small. All these things mentioned (and unmentioned) slowly piled up and started demoralizing me more by the passing day. And i could never seem to find a reason behind all that injustice as i know that i am a good radio presenter. The only time i found myself happy was during that one hour on air while hosting my show. Off air, i badly wanted to get out of there.

An optimist, I gave it time and kept convincing myself that things will eventually get better soon. But nothing changed. And after months and months of battling it out between my heart and mind, i finally decided to get out and move on. I HAD to do it, although it was very tough to come to this unwanted conclusion as i loved my work as a presenter. I certainly had not foreseen this day. 

But the most difficult and heartbreaking part between all this decision-making phase was to not get the support of even a single person. Trust me, not even a single loved one with whom i had shared my affliction with, stood by me in this decision. My family, my close friends, my contemporaries, even my best friend and my boyfriend! Everyone had that same excuse, "But it's Radio Kantipur, one of the biggest media house. You should just cope with it and stay put."

Is a big name really everything? Is it that important to continue working in a place where you don't want to, just because it's a big organization? These questions screamed inside me. But I don't blame any one of them as i do understand they are saying that just for the betterment of my future career. But then, i also cannot deny the fact that i really was badly hurt. No one understood what i was going through, how this was easily affecting my mood almost everyday. No one saw how much guts it took to take this big step, without a single support. 


Lesson Learnt !

I have no idea if what i did was right or wrong, but one thing's for sure is that i won't ever regret this decision later in life. Cause only i know how i felt then and how true it was. All i did was trust my feelings and my instinct, which i don't think is a wrong thing to do.

As a budding teenager, i had dreamt of being a RJ, and i did it! I can proudly say that i lived one of my many dreams. And maybe this is God's way of telling me that it's now time i reach my hands out for the other things i have always wanted to try. As i finish this certain chapter of my storybook, i feel a rush of excitement to see what the next chapter has in store for me. I stand more stronger than ever, ready to spread my wings out for new things in life. :) 

To the entire team of Radio Kantipur, i apologize if i have unknowingly offended you in any way with my statements above. Please know it is clearly unintentional. Thank you so much for everything. For the recognition, skills, knowledge, oppurtunities, new bonds, fun times, life-long memories and what not!    I will forever be grateful for it all. :)

Waiting for my new Hello :)

10 comments:

  1. Ramro bichar ..afulai j thik lagcha tehi garnu parcha jeeven ma....but aba friday dherai namitho hune bhayo...7pm mero jahile coffee brk ma aafuko program le recharge ko kaam gardathiyo...will be missing yr grt voice n thoughts...take care god bless u as alwaz

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    1. awww.. it feels really good to hear that my show used to uplift your mood and energy... sorry will not be able to do it anymore... anyways thank you so much for writing in and for all the love towards me and StupidCupid :)

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  2. ya preety big name doesnt matter if there is injustice for staff you did better and i do know the suprimacy power does a lot.never give up your hope and do what would be better for ur life ..there might be lots of stag in ur life but you have to kick them out and there will be one plus point for the mgmt of kfm that if someone pronounce kfm then i will say them proudly that there was perfect rj who was resigned due to some greviences of mgmt.........

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    1. Perfect RJ!
      WOW, it feels so wonderful to hear that, although i don't think i am even near to perfect. hehe.. Thank you so much for understanding Gaurav :)

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  3. All the best for the upcoming journey of life!!!
    Life's always a treasure box to explore new thing!!

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    1. Thank you Kiroz... really appreciate it.. :)

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  4. i adore you for going with your heart without anyone's support. its hard to take decisions , it really is. and if its relating to career and yes RADIO KANTIPUR its more difficult but it good that you did wht u had to .. you must be relieved .. good luck for your new hello :)
    life is all about experiencing and you are the lucky and brave one, to be fulfilling one your dreams. cheers to you. :)

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    1. I am glad that you understood how difficult it was for me to follow my heart and go ahead with my decision without anyone's support. Thank you so much @pretender :)

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  5. i love u di ur program was just a program i used to hear.i had already realized the reason why u left kfm, i used to think that why are u not getting oppurtunity to host other program though u are a good radio presenter...di really i will miss u so so much

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  6. I can so much relate myself to what u have felt and gone through.I can totally understand how u feel being unwanted inspite of ur hardwork and dedications.I have been through that phase and Even i left the job.And I dont regret it a bit.atleast I have my peace of mind.Good decision from your side and I wish u all the best for ur new journey of life where u can spread love and be loved by all the people around you.Will miss ur show though.All the best once again.

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