Look Beyond !

I know it may sound a bit unusual for a 'Love Freak' like me to say this, but yes people, Life is not only about falling in love and finding the right person and working on the relationship. Do not revolve around 'only' that. Look beyond. There are so many more things we need to focus on. There are so many people who needs our help. There is so much to learn. So much to do. Reach out for your dreams. Search for your true calling. Do what your heart desires. Do not let your love stop you from anything. Instead, let love inspire you. To become a better person. Let love make you love yourself. Let love make you love your life. :)

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D

The day i realized i had a self-misconception ...

I feel like i am not doing enough when there is so much i am capable of doing.
I feel like i am wasting my time doing nothing beneficial for me and my society.
I feel like i am now supposed to stop thinking and rather start getting practical.

I am an undergrad student in my 2nd year. I am educated. I am capable. I have the skills. I have the resources. I have support. I have the time. I have the heart.

So here, i ask myself.
Why am i not doing anything?
Why am i acting this ignorant?
Why am i being so inconsiderate?

And until this day, i had 'thought' that i was a very thoughtful person.
;(

Re-Incarnation !

Today's sunrise woke me up to a very painful reality check. As i was thinking in bed, a sense of heaviness burdened my heart. It left me questioning myself. Doubting my own self. Fearfully, i dragged my 'soul' to the mirror. And Oh, that face scared me. Who was she? Where was that girl who once ruled my mirror with her eyes so bright and a smile so real? What has become of her?

It took me not much time but a great deal of courage to finally realize and accept the fact that i had changed so much. All those problems and all those continuous failures had murdered the optimistic and strong girl that i once was. And no matter how many times i tried to stretch my lips, it just did not seemed like a smile. I 'had' to confess to myself that i was no longer happy. No longer who i used to be.

I then decided that it is high time i now re-cleanse myself. I cannot afford the risk to stay like this forever. Life has just started and all that i faced was probably Life's only way of telling me that this is how it is always going to be. Problems are never going to end. In fact, there may be more harsher ones punching me in the future. And failures, i shall simply have to accept and use them as a 'furious' motivation to continue fighting. I shall just have to go with the flow.

But, i will NOT let all those bends break me. Instead i am going to make it make me. With a positive attitude, i will deal with whatever i have to. Facing challenges, taking decisions, making mistakes, comprehending, and learning from it. Yes, that is exactly how i am going to learn and live my life. I will not allow myself to miss the 'old' me, for i am going to again be the 'old' me. The happy me!  The vivacious me!  The inspiring me!  The fearless me!

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D

Shall I dare to dream, for real ??

OK, the whole nation is talking about only one thing right now. Miss Nepal 2012. We just got ourselves a new Miss Nepal tonight. And even though i am a bit disappointed as the only contestant i had supported did not win the main title, the thing that is bothering me more is the fact that i didn't even try. :/

It happens every year. I mean, after a new lady gets crowned, i get the same feeling i am feeling right this moment. Angry and Sad. Because like every other young girl, i have also dreamt of being a Miss Nepal one day. But never have i ever taken this passion seriously. As clear as i remember, ever since i was 18, i have been going around telling people that i will lose weight one day and participate in that certain pageant. But serves me right for not trying. It is no one's but my own fault that i am here typing down my thoughts in my room when i 'could' have been on that stage tonight with a sparkling crown on my head.

And so arises the same issue yet again. The weight issue. The 'fat' factor. Always gets in the way. Damn! Why is being 'slim' such an important aspect when it comes to Beauty? Is 'big' never supposed to look beautiful? But let me not go any further there as i know it's a useless debate. So the main thing is, if i really drop sizes, do i try for it? Shall i dare to dream, for real ??

But we all know it that it does not only take beauty to win. For brains stands equally important. After all they say that a pageant winner is that 'beauty with a brain'. Well i am not exactly sure of how 'brainy' i am. But yeah, i do know that i am not brainless. Haha. I believe i do have that something in me, which is why i even dared to knit this dream in the first place itself. And then, there are also some nice people who've supported me by saying that i have what it takes and that i should give it a shot. :)

So now, it is all in my hands. Well sure it always has been, but i fear i am running out of time. A couple more years and i will soon be exceeding the age criteria. Haha. Well, i just hope that this time, my determination will not fade away as the year passes. I pray that this anger stays within me, pushing my limits as it murders my laziness. And i know that it is not only about losing those extra kilos but also equally about working on boosting up my confidence and knowledge level.  For 10 (or more) years down the line, i certainly would not want to depress over the fact that i did not work hard enough for what i wanted. 

Yes I Can ;)

I believe we all should dream. Dream in such a way that we strive towards making it a reality. But at the same time, assure ourselves that not every dream comes to life. And even if it does remain a dream forever, we should never regret it. Daring to dream is in itself an achievement and a dream come true ! 

Oh My God, okay, i am seriously freaking out now. I cannot believe i just wrote all that 'personal' feelings down and will be publishing it in a few minutes. Such uncontrollable emotions, Pretty ! I know for sure that i will be teased by a hell lot of you out there. And i bet some of you must also be laughing at me right now. But hey, maybe that criticism of yours just might motivate me even more. ;)

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D

To a far away place ..

If only i could
I would go far away

To a place
Where no one knows me
And i know none

To a place
Where i would walk on my own
And talk to myself

To a place
Where i would breathe free
And clear my mind

To a place
Where i would get lost
And find my way back home

If only i could
I would go far away


Every time i feel down, lost and lonely, i have this desire. I picture myself walking down an unknown western* street. Under the moonlight. No destination in mind. Stopping by a bar to grab a drink. Getting a stranger's company. Telling him* such personal things i don't even tell myself. Laying my heart out. Spend some time together. Crying, Laughing, Kissing. Then get up and continue walking. Never to see that person again.

Trust me, if only i had the freedom and the money, i would have really fled away. If not forever, then just for some time. To run away from the people i know. To get lost amidst strangers. To enjoy without being judged. To live my life. To breathe.

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D